Where to start... my best friend for the last seven or eight years and I found ourselves single at the same time and ended up hooking up. He pushed me away once, when his ex (and mother of his child) showed interest to give her a chance. I didn't speak to him for two months after that and then we finally started talking again and started seeing each other. The break up was bad for him, she cheated on him several times. After about six months of spending every weekend together he called and wanted to make our relationship official. I told him I would love that but he needed to have the courage to tell her. He said he would. We started dating, and after a few months during a conversation with her I found out that she didn't even know. She was moving in with another man and in a happy relationship, but to this day chooses to flirt with him and taunt him whenever she gets the chance.
To make a long story short on that end.... she has recently married and is pregnant but is still her same old self. My boyfriend and I had some really great times. About three months ago I discovered I was pregnant (a mixture of medication offsetting my birth control pills). At first he was angry, then he calmed down. Now we are just a bit overwhelmed. I am moving in with him next week, giving up my career, my future... everything to create a family and future with him. I have two children from my previous marriage that he is also welcoming into his home.
The problem is that he has stopped cuddling, touching and having sex with me in the last six weeks. He told me before that he loves me but that it would never be the deep true love that he had for her because it just gets him in trouble. I have lost all of my confidence, longing to just be held, I fell unattractive, unwanted. When we talked he gave me the "it's not you, it's me" talk..... which we all know means "it's you".. or 99% of the time anyway.
So I'm moving there, readjusting my life, he is having to readjust his entire life... and he won't touch me? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm getting extremely scared and depressed. His ex dropped his little girl with me yesterday and asked why I had the trailers outside and the boxes all packed up and I had to tell her I was moving in with him. She didn't seem to care either way and was friendly. I was hurt.
Back to the sex... I know it may make me sound needy but we went from one or twice a weekend to flat out nothing. I have always had a self confidence issue, always about 15-20lbs over weight, not the typical girl he dates.... but as a friend he was always the one that supported me, understood me and complimented me. Now that I'm in love with him... nothing. I'm so afraid right now... I know he will always be good to me, and I want to make this work, I'm not ready to lose this love..... I've been on my own raising my little girls for a long time.... I just don't understand what has happened?? Could he just be that overwhelmed with everything? Or is it me? He says he wants me to move in with him, that there is no other person he'd rather spend time with right now..... hell I don't know. I guess having sex here or there with him brought us closer, gave me confidence so that I didn't notice the unromantic sides of him... now it's just nothing.
Any ideas?
Topic Options
